Of Tantrums And Depression: How A Load Of Laundry Can Change Your Life
Oct08

Of Tantrums And Depression: How A Load Of Laundry Can Change Your Life

“So wake me up when it’s all over When I’m wiser and I’m older All this time I was finding myself, and I Didn’t know I was lost” – Avicii A few months ago, my 6 year old son had a tantrum that I figured would be one of those stories that I might tell when he got older. Twenty years from now, I would say, “Remember that time you wouldn’t open the dryer door?” I’d tell the story, and we’d all laugh about how ridiculous it was for him to have a tantrum over something so small. In fact, the tantrum happened just like that. He came to ask me where a particular pair of pants or a shirt was. I said, “It’s probably in the dryer. Just open the dryer door.” What happened next probably won’t shock anyone who has children, although I cannot say I saw it coming at the time. He refused to open the dryer door. I mean, he was literally standing in front of the dryer. His hand was a foot away from the handle and he wouldn’t open it. He wanted me to do it for some reason, and when I refused, it escalated to the point where he was screaming and sobbing all while standing next to the dryer door. He ended up on the floor crying hysterically for more than 20 minutes. And, the dryer door was in reach the entire time. As adults, we read this story and think, “Well, I would never do that. The solution was right in front of him. All he had to was put his hand on the handle and pull. Of course, I would open the dryer door.” But, we don’t. We have all been in that situation at least once in our lives. We’ve all refused to open our particular dryer door, and in some cases, we’ve denied the very existence of the handle despite all evidence to the contrary. Perhaps some of you don’t recognize what your unique load of laundry is yet, but I do. For much of my adult life, I’ve struggled with depression, and until recently, I never opened the dryer door. I’ve contemplated writing about this a lot in the last several months. In fact, I finally got my blog off the ground so that I could write about my mental journey, even though it was under the guise of lifting weights. Somehow, if you talk about how lifting a barbell makes you crazy, people understand and relate. But, if you mention depression? Will you really get the same response? It’s not like talking about this is...

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Enlightened cheeseburgers are the best cheeseburgers in the universe
Aug02

Enlightened cheeseburgers are the best cheeseburgers in the universe

“I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just too intelligent to come here.” – Arthur C. Clarke First, I forget that I don’t have keys to the gym. I gave them to Lon so that he can run open gym on Friday nights, and I haven’t made another set yet. I pull up to the gym, and before I even open the car door, I remember this and sigh. So, I run back to the coffee shop to get Nick’s keys so that I can actually open the gym door and retrieve the phone charger. Next, I go to pay rent and pull up to the property management office and realize that my checkbook is at home. I text Nick and tell him that sometimes I think the universe is conspiring against me. He doesn’t respond to my text. I imagine him rolling his eyes at me and telling me something about science and how the universe doesn’t give a shit about me and what does it even mean to say that a bunch of planets and stars and black holes conspire against me. He has never actually rolled his eyes at me, and I don’t think he is an eye roller, but this is how I imagine it in my head. Then, traffic happens. I fully intend to stop at Greenlife to get something “healthy” for dinner on the way to pick him up and head to the gym for the evening, but Merrimon Avenue is not my friend, and I already know that Patton Avenue will not be my friend, and if I stop at Greenlife at 5:00 pm, I will have to wait in line behind 20 hippies who all want to buy some organic gluten-free dairy-free cruelty-free rainforest-certified kale for dinner, and I will be late to open the gym. I text him to say that I don’t really want fast food and that I think we should wait to eat until we get home, and then I realize that we will be starving because we haven’t eaten since breakfast and we have to be at the gym until after 9:00 pm. So, I think maybe I can suffer and eat fast food because that is better than starving, and then I realize that everything that I want to eat is on the wrong side of Patton Avenue. Between 240 and the gym, I will pass Arby’s and McDonald’s and Wendy’s and Krispy Kreme and Sonic and even KFC, and they will all be on the opposite side of the street. There is a giant median that necessitates a double U-turn in...

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