I Don’t Want Your Brand of Feminism: A Lesson For Taylor From Dolly, Bonnie, Tracy and Me

It’s bad enough that Beyonce runs around calling herself a feminist. I mean, hey, we’ll just forget about that time that you sang that song with your husband that mentioned a convicted rapist who told a female reporter, “Are you talking out of turn? I normally don’t do anything with womens unless I fornicate with them first. So you shouldn’t talk anymore. Unless you wanna, you know…” Yeah, and that part in the song where everyone chants that super fun line about the wife beater? In the words of Doge: “Wow. So feminist. Such equality.”

Now we have Taylor Swift chiming in to claim that Nicki Minaj and Iggy Azalea are underappreciated as songwriters because they are women: “The superstar singer recently sat down with Time and discussed two of rap’s biggest female artists, Nicki Minaj and Iggy Azalea. She complimented their songwriting abilities and defended them for the scrutiny they’ve received as lyricists. ‘And we all know it’s a feminist issue.'”

Yeah. Let’s just take a look at their amazing songwriting abilities.

Nicki Minaj:
“This dude named Michael used to ride motorcycles
Dick bigger than a tower, I ain’t talking about Eiffel’s
Real country ass nigga, let me play with his rifle
Pussy put his ass to sleep, now he calling me NyQuil
Now that bang bang bang,
I let him hit it ’cause he slang Cocaine
He toss my salad like his name Romaine
And when we done, I make him buy me Balmain
I’m on some dumb shit”

Iggy Azalea:
“When I hop out his new six
Fresh in some new shit
“Damn, she is too thick, who is this?”
Yeah I’m his new bitch
I’m his new bitch
And I’m spending his new cash
Few trips, new bags
Damn, she is too bad
Oh you mad?
That I’m his new bitch
Yeah, I’m his new bitch”

TOTALLY a feminist issue, Taylor. Totally.

But, wait, Taylor! Wait. I am so inspired as a feminist by your latest hit!

Taylor Swift:
“‘Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heart-breakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off”

No thanks, Taylor. No thanks.

If I’m going to pick an amazing female songwriter, it won’t be you, Nicki, or Iggy. Frankly, your assertion that their songwriting abilities are discounted for any reason other than the fact that their lyrics are pure trash is embarrassing for you. So, get over yourself and your brand of “feminism.” It sure ain’t my feminism.

While you’re at it, take a lesson from a few women who actually know how to write songs.

Author: Tamara Reynolds

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  1. I think Taylor is just going to shake this off. Moreover, it seems shaking off facts is also pretty popular (actually, required) these days. It’s more about the feelz spawning from instagram tweets. Sad.

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  2. Bonnie Raitt and Tracy Chapman – both utterly fantastic songwriters. There are so many phemonimal female songwriters that I am shocked fools like Iggy Azelea (who’s shelf life will be VERY limited, I can assure you) even quality for the title of “songwriter”.

    Aimee Mann, Ani DeFranco, hell even Cindi Lauper. Swift? No. Minaj? Gross.

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