Don’t Wait To Paint Your Kitchen Red: Life Begins Today
“I can’t go back to yesterday –
because I was a different person then.”
– Lewis Carroll
I read a Facebook post this morning from someone I’ve always liked and admired. It said, “I’m home. Walked into my apartment and looked around and I took solace in acknowledging that I am the woman I always wanted to be.”
I’m not going to lie. I almost started crying when I read that. But, I didn’t cry. I stuck that quote in the back of my head because I knew it was important.
Nick and I were busy planning for 2014 and beyond earlier today, and we started talking about what we want in life. I realized that I had spent a good chunk of my life perpetually Waiting For Life To Begin, as if life wasn’t happening right then. Wait until I finish college, find the right job, finish graduate school, get married, have kids, pay off debt…
The list went on and on, as if there was always something better just around the next bend. “I will finally move into a new house and paint my kitchen red, and THEN, life will REALLY start!”
I also spent too much time thinking about what I wanted my LIFE to look like without thinking about the PERSON I wanted to be.
As if you can separate those two things…
Nick and I decided to try the wxyz bar at the aloft hotel on Saturday night. We are downtown quite a bit, and we have our favorite hangouts. The rooftop bar kept beckoning us, and we finally took the plunge. We walked up the stairs to the bar, looked around, looked at each other, and said, “Yeah. So, this is NOT our place.”
We walked out.
As we headed to our next destination, I said, “You know, I’ve spent a lot of time in the last 5 years hanging out in places I didn’t want to be, doing things I didn’t want to do, and having conversations about things I didn’t want to talk about.” There was a time when I would have walked into the wxyz bar and stayed.
Now is not that time.
I put the kids to bed at 9:00 pm tonight and walked back into our garage/office/home gym. Nick was sitting there reading and listening to classical music. On one wall, there was a small gold Christmas tree with a samurai ornament on it, a gold reindeer, an amazing vintage lamp, and a framed photo of the Dalai Lama from an old Apple advertisement. On the other wall, there was a small white Christmas tree on an overflowing bookshelf and three posters of Bruce Lee. The fake fireplace was on, and we’d opened a bottle of wine that I bought because it was made in honor of the patriots of Chile’s war of independence and because it was on sale for $6.99.
I looked around and realized that I finally know who I want to be. I love the person I am and the life I am living in THIS moment. My life has begun, and I only need to wake up and live it every day.